This whole blogging, online sharing, reel taking, marketing ones self malarkey (yes that's right I said malarkey because I'm apparently 75 years old) is pretty far removed from the centre of my comfort zone.Can you tell?
There is a smorgasbord of people to follow who lead retreats, yoga classes or hikes, so why on earth would anyone choose me ? Well that's a darn good question.
Novembers theme for me seems to be imposter syndrome , yes this "It" phrase seems to be everywhere these days , overused even.
Attributed to the thought patterns of am I good enough ? I don't belong here everyone else is waaaaaay better at this than me . Even when we are presented with facts that tell those thoughts to just BOGOFF (no sorry not buy one get one free, no promotions here I'm afraid ).
Starting up yoga classes and events again feels 1 part amazing 1 part terrifying. As a yoga teacher I am the business, so every time a class or event is promoted its putting myself out there . Theres no escaping it for us teachers, when you are the business you pretty much have no choice but to figure out how best to make the world want to spend time with you .
I have been hiding from doing just that for a few years now, almost considering never teaching again, never wanting to hold a public space , or be in front of a camera.
Little did I know that I was simply just healing in my own time, taking a few little stumbles but ultimately taking small steps forward to heal from a very traumatic time in my life. Getting myself ready to share my journey with others in the hopes that it helps someone else on their journey to healing.
Social media can be amazing , I have met some wonderful people on there and found out about great community businesses, but it can also be pretty toxic. It can trigger those feelings of inadequacy, the need to be always producing, promoting and sharing to be equal to other people.
If there is anything I have learned this past few years is that living your life at someone else's pace isn't going to get you what they have.
Theres a lot to be said for doing the work in self awareness , spending time on your own, factoring in time once a week , once a day even , to sit with your own company , in the bath, on the toilet , on a walk, however you want . Learning to enjoy your own company can take you a long way.
Its in those times that for me I learned to really listen to what it was that I wanted , how I felt, what I really thought of myself. It gave me the clarity to see the people that didn't belong in my life, and those that really did.
I learned to listen to quiet murmurings telling me what I wanted to try, to learn , to experience .
We are all works in progress, no one that I have ever met has won at life , managed to get through all its levels and reach those pearly gates without losing any points .
Yoga for me is what helps give clarity to make better decisions , to keep in touch with what it is that I really want and feel.
As a teacher I know Ill look back in 10 years time and see how much I have improved, Just like I can see now all of the things that make me better than when I first started.
But in order for us to get to the future we need to live the now, the present and appreciate it whilst it's here.
So join me in being in the now, in each precious and fleeting moment, because trust me tomorrow will be here quicker than you know.
I will share a moment each week this month on Instagram stories under the Monthly Musings heading that I have found has given me clarity whilst spending time on my own. Maybe you want to join in and tag me ? (yogiibear_claire)